Rider Profiles

The only person to ever hold both water skiing and road cycling world champion status, Joycey adriotly negotiates twisting descents with a smoothness borne from countless hours rounding the slalom cones on his beloved Murray River. Affectionately known as our Founding Father, AJ brings his signature smile and good humour to any Squadra event - on and off the bike.  

Roberto, the Italophile of Squadra, will always be found out front - be it on a gruelling mountain ascent, or in the fashion stakes sporting his signature Paul Smith garb. Syd's love for the Swanies is only pipped by his penchant for pastries and single-origin coffee. Like a Dogma with a Bone-a, his relentless search for the best coffee is pared with unfailing generosity.

Squadra's Chief Food and Wine critic, DMac puts his body on the line to conquer the Cols and digest the degustation. A former long-distance swimming national champion, DMac brings eye-watering VO2 Max numbers to the fore when tackling any cycling challenge. Combined with a heart the size of Phar Lap's, this all-round top bloke will always be there to lift the spirits......or wine for that matter. Carpe vinum!

"Praecepta autem animalia non sumus....Without rules, we are but animals" Captain Scotty works tirelessly to ensure we follows the rules from road safety to the all-important kit coordination. It's a thankless task that this old Sea Dog handles with aplomb. Scotty is currently drawing on a lifetime of sailing experience to curate the inaugural 'Cock of the Road' event, due to commence in 2023.

Sporting the holy trinity of elite athlete level fitness, striking Kelly Slater-esque sex appeal, and the poise of a debonair raconteur, DJ really is the whole package. Always quick with a joke, or to light up the peleton, there really is no place he'd rather be than on his trusty steed ticking off the kays and racking up Strava kudos. When he's not taking a turn on the front of the bunch, you'll find him at the helm of his foiling super Maxi, "Seaduction".

Don't be fooled or lulled into a state of complacency by The Lion King's diminutive size - this native Calabrian packs a punch, whether it's an Arthur's Seat hill climb, his home-made chilli salumi, or his much vaunted left jab sharpened during his time as a semi-pro on the bare-knuckle tent boxing circuit. Also known affectionately as Chippo (after Mario Cipollini) for his similar colourful personality, you'll never be short of a tale when Super Mario is in the bunch. 

Squadra is indeed fortunate to count Fraze amongst its ranks. With over four decades of experience building and servicing bikes, he brings pro-tour like professionalism and speed to bear on any mechanical issue, from the simplest squeak to the most complex wireless groupset firmware upgrades. Off the bike you'll be hard pressed to meet a nicer, more engaging bloke where behind the easy-going façade lies a deep intellectual who knows his Chapiro from his Giro.   

Billion dollar deals by night, Red Hill repeats by day, there really is nothing that slows this Quinquagenarian down....except maybe a lovely 1996 Chateau Lafite Rothschild. Renowed for his lightening-fast finish, that he deployes with surge-ical precision, if Joffa's in the bunch, make sure you are on your toes as you approach the line. Attention to detail is this lawyer's stock in trade and accordingly you'll always find him resplendent in head-to-toe Rapha or Paul Smith, bringing his trademark panache to the peleton.

With a riding style likened to the late, great, post-war Italian pro, Fausto Coppi, Dymo has earned himself the title Il Campionissimo ("Champion of Champions"). A true all-rounder, Dymo moves effortlessly from the Cols to the keyboard where he has led BIG Consulting Group for over two decades. Recently, Simon delivered an unprecedented discount on the new Squadra kit by employing the lost negotiating tactic of Título de Totonicapán, an ancient Mayan technique involving ritual sacrifice. Muchas gracias Il Campionissimo! 

Seen here in a state of meditative consciousness known as Samādhi, Jezza is able to separate his mind from the physical suffering being subjected to the rest of his body. As the earliest exponent of this technique in the pro-peleton, Jezza was unstoppable, completing the Triple Crown (Le Tour, Giro, Vuelta) in both 1988 and 1990. No matter what he may be subjected to, Jezza will always keep himself nice and maintain his Composure (Group).

Doctor Pat is the Mr Congeniality of Squadra, bringing not just life-saving medical expertise in the event of an "off", but a personality that can lift the spirits from the depths of the Marianas Trench. With many of Squadra's aging former pro-riders needing to resort to performance enhancing drugs, the Doc is always just a phone call away when that supply of little blue pills starts to dwindle. Unsurprisingly, he can often be heard amongst the peleton shouting encouragingly "harden up fellas!"

The irascible Squadra Soigneur, "Noodles" is on hand, day or night to resolve any problem in the peleton, albeit begrudingly. Trained by monks at the Amarbayasgalant monastery of northern Mongolia, Noodles is proficient in the ancient massage technique of "Gua Sha". No matter how gruelling the terrain, Noodles keeps riders in peak physical and mental form. Good boy Noodles!   

Seen here in customary disguise, Nixa is the Deep Throat of Squadra. Whether it is the latest scandal to rock the AFL, or an inside tip for the trifecta in Race 5 at the Dederang Cup, this rider has his ear to the ground and his nose to the wind to get the early mail any time of day or night. As the man himself says......you can get it chasin' stock yields, you can get it tidyin' up the fields....you can get it on a ride, you can get it with your bride, you can get it workin' a plough....matter o' fact, I've got it now. When you've worked up a hard-earned thirst, there's no better bloke to share a big cold beer with than Nixa! And with his not-so-secret, high altitude training base in north-east Victoria, he always keeps himself in tip-top, race-ready form.

How good would it be to live so close to Hollywood. This Middle Park born and bred legend (Swan turned Saint) is a real life cycling “A” lister’. A one time Haute Router, three time 3 Peaks veteran and a Squadra 2019 Italy (Maglia Nera front cover boy) already rattling around in his musette bag, the baby of the Squadra team brings a high octane energy and excitement level to a group that often needs a spark/pill or two to fire things into action! Be it his brilliantly edited and uplifting late in the evening team tour ride video drops, all after a day of tireless riding (Veloce is there any other speed!) at or near the front of the peloton, Hollywood’s genuine care and interest for others  is what our club is all about and Squadra salutes and thanks you for upholding these standards at consistently peak levels.

The Fresh Prince of Porepunkah, Lord Hazelnut, Buffalo Batty....whatever the moniker, this hard man of the hills is so accomplished that he even has post nominals "QC" (Quick Climber) - an honour only bestowed upon those that regularly show a clean pair of heels to the peleton when the road turns skyward. A veteran of 3 Peaks and a North East local legend, Batty is known to lure mates to his training base (Hazelnut House) before tackling some of the most challenging steeps. Pictured here with his beloved singing fish, Terry Trout - when he's not flying up Falls, you'll find him at the Bar, at the bar, or on a (sand) bar where he Mayfly off the handle if you don't stay quiet as he bags a big'un in the Buckland. This rider's largesse knows few bounds and you'd be nuts to not enjoy his company in town or on tour.

I know what you're thinking. 'Did I eat in the last 2 or 3 hours? Well to tell you the truth, in all this cycling excitement, I kinda lost track myself. Part of the challenge for Hangry and his variable blood sugar levels is that he is prepared to punish himself on every ride - whether it's a Mount Pleasant loop, or a swift Zwift in the bowels of the family compound in Far Kew. One of the elite Campione Cinque (the five riders who have completed both Squadra international tours of duty), Hangry loves to smash the switchbacks (and a banana-nut muffin) as he eats up the steeps. If you decide to challenge him to a cycling duel - mano a mano - make sure to ask yourself the question....do you feel lucky? Well, do you, punk?

A relative newcomer to the world of tight-fitting lycra and all things carbon, "Mez" has taken to road cycling and Squadra like a fish to water. Which is no surprise, given that when he's not conquering the cols, you'll find him occupying the ocean, resplendent in his Speedos. But don't let his 'gentle giant' persona lull you into a false sense of security. Beneath the friendly facade lies a hard man who carries his ancestral German butcher surname with pride, Mezger, or Sir Loin as he prefers to be known, will always push himself to the limit and beyond, regardless of the steaks.  

Akin to the stalking behaiour of his namesake, Foxy will often lie in wait amongst the peleton before springing into attack and dispensing of any and all potential threats. When he's not tearing other riders apart (prefeably in his beloved Dolomites region in northern Italy) you'll find him in his den cleaning the carcass of another legal opponent that dared cross La Volpe's path. And while cycling and the law keep him mildly entertained, what really gets this vulpine's heart racing is the Sport of Kings. With a stable that includes legends such as Slingshot, Son of Sam, Set the Scene, Super Sleuth, Sister Sally and Summer Haze, heaven help any race caller with a lisp! 

Is there any better example of the love and care that the Squadra family shows for its own than the way in which they have got around Marky D in his hour of need? While Mark is very open about his daily coke habit, he also acknowledges that the lack of judgement shown by the members of Squadra has helped give him agency and made him stronger on and off the bike. While his recently updated Tinder profile mentions that he currently has a swollen foot, his form in the sadlle hasn't appeared to suffer.  

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....

Feminis Squadra optimates, et quosdam proprios perfiles idiosyncrasies et extensio veri a materia posset.....